Unclean
by Assimbya
Summary: AU. Mina's recollection of the terrifying night of the blood exchange, a night which, perhaps, doesn't turn out the way it does in the novel. [Note: no longer being updated.]
1. Chapter 1

Unclean

**Disclamer: The characters, quotes, and situations here belong to Brahm Stoker. I only borrow them. A/N: This story is based on the Dracula/Mina blood exchange scene in the novel, but with a different twist. It will have more chapters, and possibly become quite long. I use alot of Stoker quotes, but have modifyed some of the dialouge. Enjoy!**

One

2, October

I lay in bed next to Jonathan and waited for sleep to come. In sleep all of this trouble, all this sorrow seemed gone, ended. But in the morning I would remember my frightful dreams and the whole cycle of life and death would begin again. This strange and terrible monster; Dracula. I had never seen him, but what he had done to poor Lucy, and to my dear Jonathan! Why is this earth plagued with such beings?

But even he must long for redemption, for perhaps he is like dear Lucy, he was forced into endless servitude to Hell, perhaps it was not his fault…but I cannot be thinking these thoughts, not of the monster who caused Lucy's death and Jon's long illness! I must put these thoughts from my mind, and concentrate my energies on destroying him as I had for a long time.

I wanted to sleep, why could I not? I had taken the sleeping draught that I had asked for from Van Helsing faithfully, but yet sleep would not come, and those thoughts came instead. Or was it that I feared sleep, and so resisted it? My hand unconsciously went to the marks on my throat. They seemed so like the ones I had seen on Lucy during her illness…no, I must not even think such things! It is only my foolishness that brings such thoughts to my mind. I must not think anything of it. And my dreams are the same. Even though that time it frightened me terribly, and I felt that my life would soon be ended, it was only my fear that did such to me.

I looked down at Jonathan, lying at my side, sleeping so deeply the way I could not. Oh dear Jonathan! I do love him so. He has been so changed by his encounter with the monster. His hair, which was once such a beautiful rich brown, is now white. And he is much graver then he was when I first met him, much sadder. But it has done a world of good for him, knowing that he is not mad. I remember when he first came back from his disastrous voyage, how he spoke his tales, which seemed to us then to be impossible, but which are sadly true. At least now that weight is gone from his heart, though others have come to replace it, seeming to drag him further into the darkness.

But then, when I began to drift into blessed sleep, I saw what must have been a vision, but seemed terribly true. I could not know where such a fantasy might have come from, but it was indeed terrible.

_I feel stone, cold stone…I am laid down upon it by gentle hands, yet the cold hurts me, pains me. It is…it is like the tomb, like something that a great King would be put upon after his death so that pilgrims can come to see him and pay their last respects…I shiver at the cold…I can see stone wings, an angel's wings, is it? – I cannot tell. My head lolls upon my neck, limp. I know that I must be unconscious, but I can see around me just as much as ever…._

I was broken out of the dream suddenly, for I saw around me a white mist, creeping through the window around me. It was like that terrible night that seemed so long ago, and I was suddenly afraid. But the mist put me into a strange confused state where I could not think clearly. It made me feel terrified, and at the same time rather helpless, so I could not act on my fear. I wanted to wake Jon, in my uncontrollable fear, and I pulled and tugged at him, trying to wake him, franticly. But he would not wake, and I became more and more agitated in trying to wake him.

Then, O horror of horrors! A figure stepped out of the mist.

The mist disappeared suddenly, leaving the brightness of the moonlight even more obvious, so the only presences in the room were the figure, me, and the sleeping Jon. And as the mist disappeared I could see the figure clearly, so all in an instant I knew who he was. I could tell both from his image, which looked just as the others had described him, and also I felt that I knew him, as if from some other meeting, or life, or world. I was filled with utter dread, for though I knew nothing of his purpose in coming here, I knew that it could be for no good reason.

In my fear my heart stood still, and I wanted to cry out, to scream out, and would have, if not for the fear which paralyzed me. Then he spoke, and I felt as though I had heard his voice before, though I knew that I could not have.

"Silence!" he cried, "If you make a sound I will take your husband and you shall see him die before your eyes!" His threat to Jon filled me with a cold fear, but I knew that I would not have spoken, even without the threat.

He smiled mockingly, a smile that chilled my soul. He put his pale hand on my shoulder, and the other on my bare neck. I shivered at his touch, for his hands were like ice. But for some inexplicable reason, his touch thrilled me in the strangest manner. With the hand on my throat he pulled my head back in a most unpleasant way, so I thought that I would choke.

He then said, still mocking me, "First, a little refreshment to reward my excursions. You may as well be quiet; it is not the first time, nor the second, that your veins have appeased my thirst!" I was overcome with the horror of what I knew he was about to do, and the vulgarity of his words and brutal honesty. And from his other words I knew that my fears had been right; the marks upon my throat had a more sinister purpose.

He then placed his lips upon my throat, and I felt his fangs pierce my skin, draining my blood. I thought that I would feel pain, but I did not. As my blood was drained out of my body I fell halfway into a swoon, falling from my feet onto my knees, and then would have fallen more if he hadn't caught me as I did so.

But then the vision that had come to me just before the mist came returned, and I was enveloped in it…

_He laid me down on the stone, and left me for a few blessed moments, though the cold of the stone made me shiver. But then he returned, and I could feel his lips on my throat, in a dreadful kiss, drawing blood until the world was hazy with red in my vision…and I could see no more of the stars above me, only the red, and the cold…_

I did know how long it was until he took his lips from my throat, but when he finally did I could see blood dripping from his mouth, and it terrified me to know that it was mine.

Then he pulled me from my near faint, back up onto my knees, and looked into my eyes, and spoke in a tone of mockery or anger, yet there was a strange gentleness in the words as well, though I could not for the life of me explain how that could be when the words were so cruel. "And so you, like the others, would play your brains against me! You would help these men to hunt and frustrate me in my designs!"

Here he gave a cruel smile. "But you know now, and they know in part already, what it is to cross me. They should have kept their energies for use closer to home. Whilst they played wits against me – against me who had commanded nations, and intrigued for them, and fought for them, hundreds of years before they were born! – I was countermining them." He stroked the marks on my neck with that terrible smile.

It was here that his tone took on the strange gentleness, which managed to captivate me, holding me in those terrible red eyes. "And you, once their best beloved one, are now to me flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, kin of my kin. For a while, at least, and you shall later on be my companion and my helper." I could, with dread and fascination, see my future played out, though I did not wish to.

But then the gentle tone was gone and the mocking malice filled every word. "You shall be avenged in turn, for not one of them shall minister to your needs. But as yet you are to be punished for what you done. You have aided in thwarting me; now you shall come to my call. When my mind calls for you to come, you shall cross land or sea to do my bidding. But to that, it is time to end this!"

And then – then he did something so horrifying that I – I could not have imagined what he was about to do, so innocent was I, so his actions bewildered me in my strange state of mind, still unable to do anything to help myself.

He ripped his shirt so that his flesh was visible, and then took both my hands in one of his, holding them so tightly, the strength of his grip caused me such great pain that I thought their mark would remain there forever. He held them away from my body at full tension so that I could not move. Then with one unimaginably sharp fingernail he pierced a vein in his chest, very near his heart.

His blood began to flow freely from the wound, and yet he did not even flinch. While I was still bewildered by his actions and still did not understand his purpose, he took my head with the hand that had cut his vein, and as he held the back of my neck, pressed my mouth to the flowing blood. I would suffocate if I did not swallow some of the blood. I was horrified, as the warm blood poured into my mouth, yet I could do nothing about it. He still held my hands in his terrible grip, and I had no way of breaking free from his hold.

We remained in this position for quite a time, him letting me drink his blood as he calmly stroked my hair, almost as if he was trying to calm me. But how could I be calmed by the monster who was forcing me to drink his blood? I would have screamed, and indeed I tried to, but my cries were muffled and I only swallowed more of his blood.

It was in this dreadful position, me kneeling like a penitent with my mouth pressed to his chest and my nightdress smeared with blood, that we were in when I heard people entering. My first thought was – curiously – of shame, that I had been caught doing something so terrible, and sinful, and shameful, that I should feel ashamed at it. The relief that someone had come to save me from the dreadful ministrations of this monster was only an afterthought.

But all of a sudden I was thrown back onto the bed by Dracula, and I could hardly recover my breath as I saw Van Helsing approaching, bearing a fragment of the Holy Wafer to keep away the monster. At this moment the moonlight failed, as though it was the Count who had been keeping it there. And then the room was utterly dark, even a gaslight, which Quincy had brought with him was extinguished. I could feel myself being picked up, by Dracula, I knew, and he began to run toward the window.

He would bring me away, I knew, away all my loved ones, away from Jon, and I screamed, a terrible, bloodcurdling scream that I never could have imagined would come from my body. Despair was in that scream, even though, before this night, I had not known that I could despair, not true despair, with such purity or lack of hope. It was indeed a horrible scream, and it must have woken Jon, for I heard him cry out, "Mina! My love! Is that you? Where are you?"

I wanted to cry out _I am here, my love, my dear, I am here, please take me and bring me away from all this, my love, my darling! _But Dracula put a hand of over my mouth, which still dripped with his blood, and hissed, "Silence!" And of course Jon could not see me in the darkness, nor could the others, for I could hear their scrambling as they looked for the source of the scream.

And suddenly the moonlight returned, for an instant, but in that instant Dracula leapt from the window into the cold night sky, with me in his arms, and began flying over the city, while my hapless rescuers could only watch in horror.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Short chapter, I know, but necessary. Now a few review responses, before I forget:**

**A Reader: I'm glad you liked it!**

**Greenycrimson: Actually after I posted this here I went and changed all references to "Jon" to Jonathan, and it won't happen again.**

**Soawen: I love the novel, so this will all be novel-based. And I'm glad you like that scene too! It's my favorite.**

**Vampyre: A Jonathan/Mina fan! Well, I'm not sure how much I'll have of that in here, but we'll have to see.**

Unclean

Two

Seward, Quincy, Van Helsing, Arthur and Jonathan were left alone in the empty room. The light had returned, and Quincy had re-lighted his lantern, so Jonathan could see the blood on the bed and sheets. He whispered, horrified, "Oh God, Mina, what happened here?"

Van Helsing looked sadly at him, but could not seem to bring himself to answer. He only said, whispering as Jonathan had. "We have lost her. It is no use anymore." The others all were somewhat confused, for they, unlike Van Helsing, did not completely understand what had happened to Mina. Seward said cautiously, to Van Helsing, "Yes Professor, I do not understand either, please tell us what has happened to Mrs. Harker."

Van Helsing sighed. "While we were all blissfully unaware of it, poor Madame Mina was suffering the same fate as the late Madame Lucy. But this time he was more careful to ensure that Madame Mina would be his, and his alone. He has forced her to drink his blood as he has drunk hers. And now he has taken her away from us so that there is no chance of saving her."

Tears were running down Jonathan's face as he heard these words and he pressed the bloodstained sheets to his cheek, hoping that he was touching _her_ blood. Then he gave a great cry, renting the air with its sorrow. "NO!" He screamed, and the sympathy of all the others was with him, for they had seen Lucy, their best beloved, suffer the same fate as Mina was facing now. But they could say nothing in the face of his innumerable grief; they could say nothing to his endless sorrow. They were mute in the face of that pain so great as to make one lose oneself in it.

Then Jonathan spoke on, unable to stop the flow of pain and sorrow. "I will go, and take Mina back from the clutches of that _monster!_ And he will suffer for the pain he has caused her!" Van Helsing looked at him sadly, as one might look at a child who has just said that they are going to find their dead parent and bring them back. "But you do not even know where the Count might have gone, and by the time you will have gotten there, poor Madame Mina will be dead, or worse. We must go, but not so soon, we have to wait and plan."

But Jonathan still wept, and he still cried out, "No, no, I cannot let it happen, I will not!" Van Helsing spoke gently, "You have no choice." But the others looked at him aghast, and Arthur said, in that poor stuttering way of his, "But Professor, if Mr. Harker here…if he, well, if he wants to try to rescue Madame Mina then…um….well, it's a valiant act, and I…I don't think it should be discouraged in…um…such a way. I mean, well, surely he could do some good."

Seward nodded. "Yes, you should let Jonathan go. Perhaps Mina will have kept strength and held on. She is a strong woman, and Jonathan should help her..." Quincy finally spoke. "Yes, we can't afford to lost hope, even in these desolate times. Jon here is good man, and should go to his wife."

Van Helsing looked around him; everyone had agreed with Jon and turned against him in that. "I suppose that if you wish to go now, then you may. But we must be careful, and plan, for the monster has traps waiting at every turn."

Then Quincy spoke. "But why shouldn't we all go with him? He'll certainly need help on this journey, and you, Professor, know more about the vampire then any other alive."

Van Helsing sighed. "I suppose that I can go, if indeed I must. But you all then must come, if we are to bring Madame Mina back." Quincy tossed his gun in the air happily. "Finally, an adventure! I've been waiting for something to happen for a time now, and I feel better now that I have something to do. Come, we must get ready."


	3. Chapter 3

Three

He leapt from the windowsill, into the cool night air, carrying me with him. I was terrified, and angry beyond anger, full of hatred and pain. But as much as I hated it, I had to admit that he was gentle with me, holding me in his arms almost tenderly.

I had never flown before, and it was a strange experience, soaring over the city. I could feel the wind rushing past my ears, and it was almost invigorating, despite the circumstances. I was in the strangest state of mind, all the pain and sorrow combining with a strange feeling of peace, and a distance from all that was happening.

I could feel every sensation so strongly, the wind in my hair, the Count's arms around me, the blood on my lips beginning to dry. I don't know how he flew that way, for he just seemed to glide through the air, without any effort on his part. He did not speak to me, and neither did I, for what was I to say?

He had committed atrocities to me, and was now abducting me. What was I to say? I had never in my life said a word to him, and he had not spoken to me till this night. But by his own terrible action his blood now flowed in my veins, and mine in his. I knew that he understood my mind, though I wished to keep it from him.

But in truth there was nothing that I could keep from him. For what secrets did I have? But still I felt ashamed under his gaze. I thought that I had nothing to hide, but truly it seemed that there was something that he could see, something that I wanted to hide. I did not know quite what it was yet, though.

The feel of the blood on my lips and chin disgusted me, I felt polluted, stained, unclean. I imagined embracing Jon with these bloodied hands, the hands of a monster, and cried out. "No, no, I must not touch or kiss him again, not to stain his goodness, his purity." The Count then looked down, and there was a strange sorrow in those red eyes.

He spoke, whispered, almost, "Silence, you need not worry." He ran an ice-cold finger over my lips, and I shivered. "There is no reason to be afraid." He smiled and any pity I might have had was lost. "What could I do to you that would be more terrible then that which you have already suffered?"

Then I began to weep, out of sorrow and hatred. "Monster! Let me go, leave me alone!" He whispered again, but this time it was a cold, calculating whisper. "No, I cannot do that, can I?" He played with a thread of my hair as he spoke. "I have done too much, and worked too hard, to let you go now. And besides, you are mine now, flesh of my flesh and kin of my kin. You shall not forsake me."

I hated him, and wanted to take my nails and scratch his eyes out. His arms still held me as we flew, and I wanted to break free from them. I would rather die then live that half-life, that life of stain and pollution that he would make for me. I found a strength I had not known that I had, and broke his grip.

I was falling, through space and time, my garments whipping about me as I fell to my death. I felt free, the wind about, knowing that I would go to freedom, to repentance, to a death that would wash clear the stain that remained in life.

But he caught me before I could die. There was no annoyance on his face, only a terrible amusement. Then he said, startling me, "We have reached my home." I looked down below, and indeed, I did see a castle dark even against the black sky. I shivered involuntarily, and he smiled. "Yes, it is wonderful, isn't it? I have given up relocating to England, it is far more comfortable here. It is my home. And it will be yours too."

I spoke with a vehemence, for though this matter was not one that I cared about particularly, I hated him, and wanted to disagree with everything he said. "Never! I would die first!" He smiled again, terribly. "Oh, but indeed you will, die to rise again as a vampire. And then it will be the only home you can have."

I could say nothing to that. I found myself looking into those red eyes, those terrible red eyes.

And we were there.


End file.
